The Warden
The phone rang shrilly, especially for the middle of the night. Who in the world would be calling at eleven at night?
Anne leaned over her bed to flick on the lamp that sat on her nightstand, her eyes barely consenting to open to slits. Slowly, she fumbled her hand along the desk till it found the receiver. “Hello?” she asked, voice groggy.
Silence.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
A deep, heavy breathing started rumbling from the other end of the receiver.
Anne held the receiver away from her ear for a moment, her eyes suddenly wide open as she stared at it nervously. “Hello?” she finally called again, quieter this time.
The breathing continued, deep and constant, but not a word was spoken in response to her question.
“This is crazy. Tell me who this is right now, or I’ll call the cops and they’ll have you tracked down in a matter of minutes.”
There was a slight scuffle over the phone, noises that were indistinguishable….
“Tino, get off of that phone right now. We’ve got a job to do!” The field was a magnificent dark green, the night only lit by the glow of a full moon. Rodriguez stood there, glaring at his soldier. Really? Crank calls right before they were going to head out on a mission?
Tino covered the speaker on the phone, then mouthed, “I’ve got a live one here. Give me another couple of minutes.”
“No, give me that phone right now.” Rodriguez swatted the receiver away from Tino and gave him a glare that would have turned air to ice.
“Sorry, general,” Tino answered, eyes falling to the ground, shame written all over his face. Without another word, he sauntered forward to take his place among the rest of the army.
Rodriguez shook his head, then stared down at the ground where a map lay crumpled, the corners chewed off. He rolled his eyes at the blatant disregard of orders to keep the map in pristine condition. “Now, we all know that the enemy territory is just over a few fields. They’ve planted a seed that has promised to wipe us out once and for all through our food supply. When harvested, the plant will look like grain, and it’ll be near impossible to decipher which is food and which is not. The harvested seed is poisonous to all of us, and therefore has to be destroyed.” Rodriguez took a breath, looking up at the faces all around him. The look that had once been one of stupidity in his army now turned to extreme attention. “We have to destroy this supply of seed before it can be harvested, and it has to be done before morning.”
Gasps sounded around him, and urgent whispers robbed the silence of its intensity.
“I know,” Rodriguez said, raising a leg to quiet the group. “But we’re all aware that the warden will catch us if we stay out later than five o’clock this morning.”
“But it could be dangerous,” one lieutenant said. “What if we run into the enemy? What if we run into one of those mountain lions or bears? I hear they keep animals like that chained up just in case something tried to get too near to their land. Last I heard they had an enormous hound that they starved just so that it would be even more vicious if the enemy showed up.”
Many heads nodded in agreement, a few even raising their voices and pounding the ground in consent.
“Quiet!” Rodriguez hissed. “We don’t want to wake up the warden. If she realized that we were planning this, the whole scheme would be a disaster.”
A few members of the army chided the ones who had spoken out of turn, hitting their shoulders.
“That’s it, then. We’ll be leaving immediately.” Rodriguez straightened, then strode away, guiding the members of his small army behind him. Tonight would be the night to meet the foe and to destroy whatever poison they possessed.
As they headed off to their mission, Rodriguez felt as if the fields expanded far greater lengths than initially anticipated. Dark, looming trees hid the moon, and the leaves overhead rustled ominously in the dark. The ground beneath Rodriguez was soft and light, seeming as though it wished to pull him down and bury him alive. This was enemy territory. Each step went quicker than the last, the anticipation and excitement of a battle putting him on the edge.
Finally they reached it. The field was ripe with the seeds, many of which had already begun to grow. Wide, almost endless, the field was fantastic; its only barrier was the line of trees that grew thickly to his right. Barbarians. The enemies were pushing the tree line far from where it had originated: they were destroying the natural elements of the valley.
“Alright, men, quickly now. We need to start trampling this field. Colonel, you take a squad and start heading left. The rest will come with me heading forward.”
“Where ya going, Rodriguez?”
Rodriguez stopped suddenly, eyes growing wide from the surprise of the new voice. He turned to find a familiar face grinning evilly back at him. Garbichov.
“I didn’t think your warden would let you come out and play with us tonight. I thought she was too much of a stickler.” Garbichov smiled easily, brown, rotted teeth exposing him for what he really was: a completely horrible individual, and an animal to boot.
Now Rodriguez could see the army that was lined up behind Garbichov: large, brutish creatures for the most part. Rodriguez looked back to see that his own army was small in comparison, hardly a fair match for the enemy before them. It would be difficult to get their mission done with this blockade in place, but his army was resourceful and quick. They would be victorious in the end.
“Get out of my way or I’ll have you drawn and quartered for treachery against my army,” Rodriguez spat, not letting Garbichov think he was swayed by the size of the other army.
“Treachery? Ah, that seems a bit over-dramatic, wouldn’t you say? After all, we have been friends since the beginning. There’s no need for such rudeness.” Garbichov took a step forward, almost as if he wanted to threaten Rodriguez with his confidence.
“Friend?” Rodriguez nearly bellowed, standing his ground and staring his opponent directly in the eyes. “I’ll have you know that I’ve loathed you since I first set eyes on you. This ends here and now!”
“So be it.” Garbichov shrugged slightly and casually glanced behind him. “Colonel, take out his army for me, please? I’ve grown tired of their pungent smell.”
The enemy attacked, charging through Rodriguez’s ranks and jumping atop some of the small members of his army. Everything was in chaos. Little could be seen in the dark, but somehow the little battalion found the army of the foe and pummeled them as well as they could. The soldiers threw themselves at each other, choosing to wrestle and bite rather than kick at their enemies.
Rodriguez snorted, then plunged through the fray to find the only opponent that he cared to conquer: Garbichov.
Where is he? Rodriguez combed the crowd in search of his hated foe.
A rather rough-looking enemy crashed down upon a member of Rodriguez’s army, pinning him to the ground. Rodriguez jumped atop the wild beast that was crushing his lieutenant and swayed as the brute rocked back and forth. “Oh no you don’t,” Rodriguez yelled, fighting to stay atop. Finding a tender spot on his enemy, Rodriguez delivered a swift kick.
Rodriguez rolled to the side, fearing the brute’s rage. Garbichov’s soldier leapt up then began running into the night. Rodriguez stayed still, letting his big opponent run right past him. The big brute continued to run, obviously blinded by the darkness around him. A few minutes later there was a thump: the sickly sound of bones cracking when coming in contact with something large and heavy.
“You’re going to fail,” came a familiar taunting voice from nearby.
“Not at all, Garbichov. The field is trampled already, and you’re not going to be able to quickly rebuild what we’ve torn down today.” Rodriguez smiled, but his eyes still searched the trees, knowing that his enemy sat in wait somewhere along the tree line.
“True,” Garbichov replied, “but you can’t destroy everything in one night. And not everything needs to be rebuilt tonight. The field is huge, and it’s going to take you forever to get through all of it. Besides, that warden of yours won’t let you out of her sight. The only reason that you’ve made it this far is because she fell asleep long enough for you to escape. You forget that I was once part of your little army before I found tactical advantage elsewhere. Besides, your time is running out.”
Rodriguez growled. “Where are you? It’s time that I tore you apart.”
There was a faint laugh, then Garbichov called through the trees. Suddenly, a rumbling shook Rodriguez’s body from beneath. He could feel a crashing through the woods, almost as if the thing making the vibration was right on top of him. Then there was the smell of newly-broken tree limbs and leaves stirred from where they were rotting on the ground. The rusty tang of dirt, the underlying smell of hatred thick upon its coat. The growl coming from the beast was getting closer.
“It’s the hound!” Rodriguez screamed, suddenly full of terror, his imagination running wild. Now it seemed that his legs couldn’t carry him fast enough away from Garbichov.
“Hound?” came the strangled cries of his army from all around him. The whole world was in slow motion. In the distance he could hear that the fighting had stopped. His own running seemed to be to no avail, for the blackness around him tricked him into thinking that he hadn’t run a foot from where he had started.
“Don’t just stand there, you idiots! Run for your lives!” Rodriguez ran as fast as he could, too nervous to look anywhere but forward.
The scenery rushed by in a blur; all the while he imagined he could feel dog breath on his neck. Adrenaline ran through his veins like fire, pushing him onward.
Dawn was starting to break over the horizon when he returned back to the field he had originated from. Winded, he turned to find the rest of his small army behind him equally out of breath.
Rodriguez sighed in relief. “We got anybody hurt back there?”
Everyone shook their heads, looking amongst themselves for anyone that was hurt.
“Captain!” one yelled, staring at the soldier standing beside him.
“What is it, Corporal?” Rodriguez asked, searching about to see which captain was being referred to.
“General, come look here.”
Rodriguez sauntered up behind the corporal to see the paleness of the captain’s face. The captain was shaking, eyes flicking back and forth to his peripherals as if he were too afraid to look at what he already knew was wrong.
“Captain,” Rodriguez stamped insistently. “For heaven’s sake, what has gotten into you?”
“His tail, general.”
Rodriguez turned to the back side of the captain, and his jaw dropped.
The captain’s tail had been ripped off at its base, leaving a bloody mass and a stump. The wool around it seemed hollow and caved in. No more fluffy white to set apart the true cuteness of the sheep. “How bad is it?” the captain asked, his voice scared.
“Let’s put it this way, captain,” Rodriguez said, “You could fry up that that tail and set it out to dry on a tree; that’s how much it’s fallen off.”
The captain gave a weak sigh, then swayed.
“Take it easy, captain. We’ll find a way to get through this without the warden finding out.”
The captain nodded, his teeth chattering loudly enough for Rodriguez to feel exceptionally sorry for the soldier. “Do you think it’ll work, sir? The warden sure does keep a very close eye on all of us.”
“I know it, soldier,” Rodriguez said, now pacing. “She’s stupider than that giant who fell off of Jack’s beanstalk, though. I think we have a chance. Captain, did you happen to bring your tail with you?”
The answer came from the captain’s pale expression.
“Don’t worry, sir,” said a soldier, coming up to stand next to Rodriguez. “I noticed that it snagged on a tree, so I brought it along.”
“Good work, soldier,” Rodriguez said, coming to stand by the captain. “Now don’t worry about it. Just make sure that you bring that tail behind you, captain.”
“Thank you, general.” The captain grabbed the fluffy tail in his mouth and trotted off.
“Well, we’ve succeeded in getting the other army’s attention. Now it’s time for us to think of a strategy to wipe them off the face of this planet.”
“Excuse me awhile,” Tino said, inching off. “I’ve got a date with a little girl on the phone.”
“Yo, sheep! Where are you?”
“Crap, the warden,” Rodriguez hissed. “Time to split, but don’t forget to think of strategies against the enemy.”
“There you are, you little fluffball,” the warden snapped when she saw Rodriguez. “It’s time that you stopped wandering off in the middle of the night. I want you in this spot tomorrow morning; no moving, you hear?” She stormed away, not looking back.
Rodriguez stared after the girl with a firm glare on his face. She certainly was a piece of work. It made him feel bad for the poor woman who had given birth to the demon in petticoats. It seemed an odd name for a girl, really, especially one with so much spite. Rodriguez maliciously took a bite of grass, then looked up at the warden again. Who in their right minds would name such a demon of a girl Little Bo Peep?